Have you finally orgasmed yet?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
