Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
