Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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