Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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