Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
