How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it glows. i had to have it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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