first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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