Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i drank out of a bidet.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
