I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
