operation harelip BJ is a go
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
