I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
