on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
