Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
