if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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