I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
