did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize