If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
