Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
