I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
