hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
