She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
