Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
