Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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