my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
