Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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