ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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