We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
