oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
