Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
