I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I AM VODKA MAN
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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