we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
