the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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