can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
