An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
