I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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