What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
