areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
