Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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