His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
