I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
