were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
