Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize