so explain again why im purple
no
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
