we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
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