The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
