so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
