I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
