why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Terrible idea I love it
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
