just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
