Non-Jews are for practice
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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