Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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