READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
