Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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