it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
