also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
