The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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