He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
