I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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