Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
