one two three fourrrrnication!
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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