Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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