This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Randomize
