Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
