I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
